Prince Edward and Not-a Swan In Whirlwind Romance

Speculate no further! The relationship between our favorite royal and Esme Platt’s ugly stepsister is as real as it can get.

An insider close to Not-a Swan told us, “He’s very into her. Not only has he shown up to her office in person, you wouldn’t believe the flower arrangements he’s sent her.”  When asked exactly how serious their fledgling romance is, our source elaborated, “It’s as serious as it gets. She’s spending nights at the Palace, and he asked her to sign Non-Disclosure Agreement.”

If that’s not real, we don’t know what is.

So why Not-a Swan? Why now?

It’s been rumored ever since Prince Edward returned from his latest “humanitarian mission” that he was called home from abroad because the Queen thinks it’s high time he settled down.  As far as royal wives go, Not-a Swan is the ideal candidate.

For starters, her family has already been fully vetted by Her Majesty. Any skeletons in the Platt or Swan closet would surely be out by now. Thanks to her sister, she’s already a Palace insider, privy to the everyday happening and practices and therefore well aware of what she’s getting into. Even if things progress between them quickly, she won’t be blindsided by what’s expected of her the way Princess Elizabeth was, nor will she find life behind the Palace walls isolating. After all, she’ll have her sister to keep her company.

Granted, Not-a Swan is well…not exactly a swan. But she does come with a certain pedigree. Her mother is a grade-A MILF, her father a computer genius. In the brains department, Not-a isn’t exactly a slouch herself. Despite being the boss’s daughter, our sources at Dot Swan agree Not-a’s rapid climb up the corporate ladder has had nothing to do with nepotism and everything to do with her own business acumen. And isn’t about time Prince Edward did something other than go on extended “humanitarian missions”? No doubt Her Majesty is hoping Not-a will have a stabilizing influence on Prince Edward.

Regardless, there’s one thing we all agree on here at Royal Bitch: the two years of Princess lessons Esme is rumored to have endured will look like nothing when compared to what Masen Palace will likely require of her sister.

7 thoughts on “Prince Edward and Not-a Swan In Whirlwind Romance

  1. Bullshit. Kate’s definitely female. I got pics of her tits a few years ago when she was on the beach in France.

  2. I never claimed she didn’t have top surgery. But when she goes to picnics, she always brings the pork and beans.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Proudly powered by WordPress
Theme: Esquire by Matthew Buchanan.